As we transition from Breast Cancer Awareness Month to Men’s Health Awareness Month, the topic of working and leading through a health crisis is on my mind.
August 2022 marked my eleventh anniversary as a breast cancer survivor. I am struck by how my response to this experience has changed over time. I hope my story and the resources below help you lead through crisis.
Three evolutions in my journey:
The behaviors that serve us early in a crisis change and mature as we move through our journey. As a lover of marketing, I can’t resist a good archetype! Here are three that describe my evolution:
The Duck: “Be like a duck, stay calm on the surface but paddle like hell underneath.” Right or wrong, my first instinct was to show no weakness. I didn’t identify as a cancer patient or even a survivor. My colleagues commented on how strong I was, and that I never missed a meeting or a beat. Spoiler alert, this did not serve me in the later stages of my treatment when I was truly struggling. I still ask myself the question, which serves me now, grit? Or authenticity?
The Activist: About three years after my experience, my survivor friend, Melissa, encouraged me to join her in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in New York to raise awareness and money for research. I am grateful to her as the architect of this milestone experience. She knew I was ready to take my victory lap and celebrate my health on this 26.2-mile walk through NYC. It was a small but meaningful act of activism and celebration for me.
The Mentor: Eleven years later, my perspective on cancer is more removed - in my rearview mirror. Today, I mentor women and men going through the shock of a medical diagnosis. Seeing someone weather and thrive through a health crisis is a great comfort to those early in the journey. I deeply believe that our trials and setbacks build our critical capacity for empathy.
Everyone deals with crises differently. The professional development landscape is filled with thinking models that educate us about cognitive and personality differences - from HBDI to Myers Briggs. Communication preferences can be even more amplified during a crisis so dust off these tools to better support your colleague. One person may be very open and transparent, while another may be going through a trail that you never see.
At the time of my diagnosis, I was leading a team of ten and chose to share my situation. I am a fairly private, sensitive person. My boss brilliantly guided me to communicate the news on my terms. She suggested I tell the team via email instead of an in person or one on one conversation. I was relieved at the suggestion to go easy on myself - as simple as that.
Below are my go-to resources for living and leading through a health crisis,
Be well!
The NYT article “Not a Cancer Survivor” challenges us to tread carefully through the language of cancer. And, yes, some people cringe at being called “survivor.”
The CEO of a Running Company Who Can No Longer Run - Jim Weber, the chief executive of Brooks Running, was a devoted distance runner. Then came cancer. I appreciate the end of this interview, where Jim talks about not stepping down when he was sick.
HBRs Working through a personal crisis shares helpful mindsets if you find yourself working through a crisis. A crisis or diagnosis can change how we are perceived and perform at work. The idea of strength in numbers was comforting to me. I found that telling colleagues what I was going through opened a dialogue of connection and empathy.
HBR Talking about mental health with your employees without overstepping - Physical and mental health go hand in hand. This great article from HBR suggests questions you can ask to truly support someone who is struggling. The most helpful question to ask a coworker in crisis? “What can I take off your plate”?